Newspoem.

"All the News That Rhymes"

The Daily Poem

Weather: unfair

Distribution: 3 Printed in Urbana FREE

Move your aircraft carrier three squares forward.

Draw an International Tension card.

Uh-oh: Russia is opposed to your actions, either move one square backward or draw a UN Resolution Card.

Uh-oh, now you have to open your top-secret facilities to Iraqi and Soviet inspection, or move ten squares back and forfeit three bases.

Draw another card: Whoops, the UN is only giving you 15 days to hand over all your nuclear weapons.

So, you are going to declare war?

Okay, roll the dice.

You rolled eleven, that means that you lose the war and

you are not allowed to import or export any goods for a year.

Roll again: uh-oh, looks like your leader has also been impeached.

Some kind of coup has happened, draw a Revolution card and roll the dice.

Good: two means the revolution was nonviolent, and the card? Partial Reform Socialism.

This means, among other things, that all your arms contractors have been subsumed by the government.

This means that they cannot charge inflated profits war warplanes. Your extra tax money will now go toward÷ roll again.

Surplus government funds will now go to÷ social programs.

Draw a social program card.

Supplemental Security Income and Unemployment.

Good, well that means that all those out-of-work arms contractors won't suffer as badly as a result of the new measures.

Good, well, all you have to do is dismantle your military and you've won the game.


Newspoetry at Spineless Books