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Newspoetry.

2016 . 2015 . 2014 . 2013 . 2012 . 2011 . 2010 . 2009 . 2008 . 2007 . 2006 . 2005 . 2004 . 2003 . 2002 . 2001 . 2000 . 1999 . 1998 . 1997 . 1996 . 1995

About Newspoetry

NO FRAMES

2016

31 December 2016 Newspoetry Obituary 2016 / WE'RE DONE HERE

25 September 2016 They'll Never Blame the Rich

23 September 2016 Vote Endless War for President 2016

25 August 2016 "God is supposed to make me feel connected to something larger than myself"

28 January 2016 Palin, Falwall, Terrifying Nutjobs Endorse Trump

 

2015

31 December 2015 Obituary

20 September 2015 Kakistocracy of Thought

25 April 2015 Endless War, of Course

21 March 2015 The Warm War

 

2014

12 December 2014 Bounds of debate effectively policed

24 November 2014 The Iliad

22 April 2014 Big Bang Theory Doubts Most Americans (Lescurean Permutations—Roussellian)

9 April 2014 Exercises in Denial

 

2013

18 July 2013 Heather's Summer Reading

1 June 2013 Millennium in Review

4 April 2014 Why I am, I think, grieving Roger Ebert with unexpected sorrow

1 April 2013 Albatross

25 March 2013 Snow Day With Baby

7 January 2013 24:hrs

 

2012

28 November 2012 Birth Announcement

28 October 2012 dream

 

2011

9 August 2011 Riot

25 February 2011 SENTENCE (Bush actually cancels vacation)

 

2010

1 June 2010 For Accounts Owed

6 April 2010 Dance Concert Review: Three Theories (Choreographer: Karole Armitage)

 

2009

1 December 2009 A Midwestern Parataxis

25 October 2009 Kiwane

9 October 2009 Obama Awarded Nobel Peace Prize, Republicans Poop Pants

10 July 2009 Alsip: history can neither be created nor destroyed

28 June 2009 Holiday in Honduras

9 March 2009 "We haven't had that spirit here since 1969"—Historic Lincoln Hotel (Jumer's Castle Lodge)

20 January 2009 Inauguration Day (20-Consonant)

 

2008

4 November 2008 Election Day Photo Album 2008

30 October 2008 Obamnia

24 October 2008 Newspoetry Editorial: Honoring Chimesmaster Wood and the University of Illinois Altgeld Bell Tower

2 October 2008 Mister Florida and Miss Alaska

14 July 2008 Stagflation

7 July 2008 Piatt County at 4800 Feet: Soaring with the Illini Glider Club

1 July 2008 White House Moves to Repeal Clean Air

30 June 2008 Newspoetry Crop Report: Soybeans Grew This Month

23 June 2008 Steel Wheels, Green Fields: A Day on an Illinois Freight Train

25 April 2008 No Reason to Eat an Egg: Howard Lyman at the Holy Land Diner

25 March 2008 Torpor Stupor Opus

22 March 2008 End of the Tour

13 March 2008 Not White Comedy

13 March 2008 Five years

10 January 2008 [May] the best man.

 

2007

31 October 2007 The Rise and Fallacies of the American Empire

28 October 2007 "Johnny Werd knew that when that rat fuck Silverman"

7 October 2007 nukespoem

22 September 2007 bush eventually reluctantly admits that israel bombed syria, psychologist says

13 September 2007 The Hypocritic Oath

5 September 2007 Commination

1 September 2007 Frag the Democrats

4 July 2007 The President's Colonoscopy

20 May 2007 Telempathy

5 May 2007 Doublecross (double acrostic)

4 April 2007 International Socialist Organization Marxism Lecture

2 April 2007 Democrats decisive as pressure grows legislative

31 March 2007 Damascus Nancy

19 March 2007 BUSHNCHENEY

10 February 2007 Obama Announces Candidacy

7 February 2007 U.S. Vs. Us

1 January 2007 The Crime but the Punishment a Violantion of International Human Rights Law (noosepoem)

 

2006

25 December 2006 The Voluntary Mourner

11 June 2006 Splintered Hypocrisy

12 June 2006 in a paroxysm, violence attacks itself

 

2005

October 2005 A Line A Day

28 September 2005 Scientists photograph giant squid (Twenty Consonant Poem)

14 May 2005 Offensive sent back to the United States, a randomly generated news story by Scott Rettberg & William Gillespie

10 May 2005 Later Than Night by Dirk Stratton Nick Montfort, William Gillespie

9 May 2005 Newspoetry on Eclectic Seizure! Listen to the archive: 128k MP3 | 32k MP3 | Real Audio.

1 April 2005 Dandelions for Creeley

12 February 2005 So criminal a police to police a criminal so (line palindrome)

19 January 2005 newspoem 19 january 2005

 

2004

2 December 2004 Wind (java applet)

15 November 2004 Coda

Election Day: NewsPlay

3 November 2004 Newspoetry Reruns: 17 January 2001 Found Palindrome, 15 November 2000 for the next four more

15 October 2004 New Surgical Procedure

10 October 2004 Derrida Dead At 74

9 October 2004 Second Debate: Abstract

8 October 2004 -jum

7 October 2004 Swing States Pay The Price

5 October 2004 VP Debate: Poem

30 September 2004 First Debate: Index of First Lines

28 September 2004 President Clinton's Heart

25 September 2004 "In the Democratic radio address response"

24 September 2004 a false fact crumbles

24 September 2004 Philly Kerry Rally

11 September 2004 Double Negative Positive Standard

7 September 2004 Election Day Forecast

31 July 2004 Newsphoto

1 May 2004 Mayday SubEthaEditNewspoem by Nick Montfort and the Unknown (Spineless Mix)

8 April 2004 Surf Poem

4 April 2004 SubEthaEditNewsPoem by Rob Wittig and the Unknown

21 April 2004 10 Bush Postcards

12 March 2004 Exploding Trains

5 March 2004 The Metaphor War and the Literal War

2 March 2004 "why did she, to forget" / "Altogether semantic, the language of aspect" / "there" / "The Kalashnikov with every"

27 February 2004 Kaleri

6 February 2004 War Comes Under Attack

 

2003 (for spinelessbooks.com/newspoetry)

25 December 2003 Thanks

18 December 2003 "the scapegloat perjures the opposition"

17 December 2003 Opinion Polls Taken Before and After the Capture of the Evil Dictator Show

16 December 2003 In the Streets, a Shadow Lifts

15 November 2003 Rejected Newspoem (PDF)

14 November 2003 Headline Bagatelle (Flash)

4 October 2003 The Way the World Works (PDF)

29 September 2003 Those Who Know History Are Doomed (MP3)

14 September 2003 US kills 8 Iraqi Police in Mistake

13 September 2003 The Man in Black Dies at 71

20 August 2003 Bush Guts Pollution Controls on Energy Industry

12 August 2003 Newspoetry Book Review: Operation Mind Control

19 July 2003 Brown Anxiety Dream

28 June 2003 Haiku for Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

1 April 2003 Political Poetry Block

15 Feburary 2003 2 Million Protest the War Worldwide

5 February 2003 I am sitting in the waiting room

1 January 2003 Newsparty Lumbers on

1 January 2003 5:52:28pm Wed Dec 10 ?>grep Bush news (Sondheim)

 

2002 (for newspoetry.com)

6 January 2002 Newspoetry Movie Review: Platoon

12 January 2002 Saturn Night Live

19 January 2002 Educational Television Haiku

3 March 2002 Joe Futrelle Promises Not to Become Poet Laureate, but Won't Give Up Writing

4 March 2002 Cluster

11 March 2002 Poem for Urbana City Council Meeting

18 May 2002 blue news 2

31 May 2002 blue news 1

3 June 2002 Twenty Lines for Jim Simmerman

6 June 2002 My Dinner with Ari

9 June 2002 3 haiku for Robert S. Mueller III

13 June 2002 2 haiku for Robert S. Mueller III

23 June 2002 20 WRITERS COMPOSE HYPERTEXT NOVELLA IN 40 MINUTES

16 July 2002 New York Times Quote of the Day Today

23 July 2002 Newspoetry Personality Inventory

24 July 2002 0OI1lwtfhc2^uTst1nkE.Net

25 August 2002 Quecreek Photo Op

9 September 2002 Only Slow and Green

23 September 2002 antidisillusionment

22 October 2002 Newsflash1

22 October 2002 The President's Poetry

29 October 2002 2 Haiku for Andy Rooney

16 November 2002 Hewlett-Packard Spearheads Disabled Group

20 November 2002 I Blame Bush

4 December 2002 Newspoetry Movie Review: Bowling for Columbine

8 December 2002 Ten Years Later

13 December 2002 Jimmy Carter Dies at Guantanamo Bay

19 December 2002 Aftermath

22 December 2002 Louis all mad at the Yemenis

24 December 2002 Osama bin Laden sending encoded messages in Jonathan Franzen's The Corrections

30 December 2002 Out Like a Lion: Newspoetry's Last Stand

 

2001 (for newspoetry.com)

Newspoetry Conspiracy Theory Part II: Newspoetry 501(c)3

6 January 2001 Elegant (by Comparison)

9 January 2001 Fish Tale

10 January 2001 Newspoetry is...

11 January 2001 You Never Thanked the Poor

17 January 2001 Found Palindrome

18 January 2001 Czech TV

20 January 2001 51 Words for 20-01-2001

13 Febraury 2001 Newspoetry Movie Review: Traffic

21 February 2001 Dear Ford Motor Company

7 March 2001 Response to unsolicited email

14 April 2001 In Defense of Saturday Night Live

23 April 2001 Acrostic on Genetic Engineering and Espionage

24 May 2001 Haiku from Work

2 June 2001 c can cause cancer

5 June 2001 Copyright Infringement Acrostic Sonnet for McDonalds ®

17 June 2001 Definition of "News"

27 July 2001 Haiku for Mileva Maric

10 August 2001 Johnny Werd and the Revolution in Florida

20 August 2001 Onion Article Not Funny

6 September 2001 NA

10 November 2001 Economics 101

28 November 2001 I.T. Haiku

3 December 2001 Editorial

13 December 2001 c r o s s p o l l i n a t i o n

 

2000 (for newspoetry.com)

29 December 2000 Tora Bora, Afghanistan, Sept. 10, 2005

11 December 2000 Gore's Legal Team Interferes With Old Boy Process

12 January 2000 Jellyfish Power Failure

1 February 2000 William Gillespie Accused of Murder: Eggplant Involved

5 February 2000 Dear Amazon.com

10 February 2000 The Multiculturalist's Anachronism

20 February 2000 america i love thy odor

23 February 2000 Frosty the Poet

24 Feburary 2000 Line Breaks

29 February 2000 1999, Year of the Unknown

7 March 2000 Newspoetry Coverage of Ropes Panel Discussion on Electronic Literature with Richard Powers and Sven Birkerts at the University of Cincinnati on February 3rd, 2000

11 March 2000 Late to Work

16 March 2000 Heimlich on Political Action

18 March 2000 recipe (after Johnson)

24 March 2000 Well, I'm sitting here at the Holy Grail in Cincinatti with Scott Rettberg of the Unknown and Rob Wittig of tank20

26 March 2000 Existential Haiku

30 March 2000 Villaku

3 April 2000 Three Limericks from Cincinnati

4 April 2000 Spring is Coming

5 April 2000 Patrick Dorismond RIP, NYPD

8 April 2000 The Wreck of the Good Ship Lollipop

9 April 2000 Glut in Headline Market Takes Tropes to New Low

28 April 2000 What Causes AIDS in South Africa?

11 June 2000 Newspoetry Architecture Review: The New Jimi Hendrix Museum and Robot Zoo

22 June 2000 After the Scampi

6 July 2000 Newspoetry Cultural Review 1999-2000

9 July 2000 Picnic in Urbana

19 July 2000 Clinton Arrested in Fairville, Oklahoma

30 July 2000 Haiku (x 2)

2 August 2000 Newspoetry Conspiracy Theory

1 September 2000 Nader Chooses Bill's Hat as Running Mate: Popularity Surges

7 October 2000 Double Dubya Haiku

17 October 2000 DEATH

24 October 2000 The Year That Nader Ran

25 October 2000 Television Subject Other

30 October 2000 Fable

2 November 2000 Executive Dysfunction

15 November 2000 for the next four more

18 November 2000 Mightywords Stabs ELO ED in Back

25 November 2000 Clinton Does Vietnam

17 November 2000 Middle East Passive/Chicago Tribune Grammar/Conflict Spin Haiku

1 December 2000 Readymade

1 December 2000 The George Bush Center for Intelligence

7 December 2000 Excerpt from the Newspoetry Staff Handbook

20 December 2000 Foreign Policy Panel: Ease Cuba Embargo

26 December 2000 The Santa Clause

27 December 2000 Newspoetry Y2K Year in Review Quiz

 

1999 (launch of newspoetry.com, a collaborative, daily website)

2 January 1999 27 Bullets for Tyisha Shenee Miller

4 January 1999 Portrait of a Chicago Newspoet

7 January 1999 Newspoetry Manifesto

13 January 1999 Eight Alexandrines for Champaign Police Department

18 January 1999 Newspaper Anthem

19 January 1999 AT & T Cut 18,000 Jobs Last Month

20 January 1999 What has Iraq done?

21 January 1999 Newspoetry Y2K Preparedness

24 January 1999 "Break off the president's head"

27 January 1999 Bus Late

28 January 1999 Drunk Flower Thief Still Not Apprehended

30 January 1999 Councilman Stumbles Home

1 February 1999 Dear Alderperson,

2 February 1999 this week, a guy was changing a valve on top of a gas-tanker

11 February 1999 Clinton Attacked by Zombies

12 February 1999 Exiles

13 February 1999 "and now there is static"

14 February 1999 Experts predict:

16 February 1999 Scott don't write me no newspomes no more

20 February 1999 The Chicago Tribune and the Champaign Urbana News-Gazette had a conversation in the locker room.

22 February 1999 Review of the Kalichstein-Laredo-Robinson Trio

23 February 2002 News Good

24 February 1999 History of Clinton

25 February 1999 HAIKU STATISTICS

26 February 1999 Bumper Stickers Express Public Sentiment

27 February 1999 Peanuts in Iraq

28 February 1999 it starts here when a mountainside is reduced to slag and scorched vegetation

2 March 1999 here's ed with the <5letter news

3 March 1999 Today the entire social security fund is being taken in a fleet of armored trucks to Atlantic City

8 March 1999 PLEASE CONTACT YOUR FINANCIAL INSTITUTION

9 March 1999 EXCLUSIVE NEWSpoetry INTERVIEW WITH HARVARD LAW PROFESSOR

10 March 1999 And you arrive with your psychoses.

11 March 1999 Uncle Sam Apologizes

12 March 1999 What happens to marijuana seeds you flush down the toilet?

13 March 1999 SCOWLING AT A LINE

14 March 1999 "Dear Alderperson,"

15 March 1999 "February 8th the us military invaded Kingsville, Texas."

16 March 1999 from: katie

17 March 1999 Oh John! Don't go to Kosovo (univocalic)

18 March 1999 Items From Our Catalog

20 March 1999 The Mayor of the Moon is interested in Development

24 March 1999 Stockpile Stewardship

25 March 1999 Radio Free Kosovo

26 March 1999 Dear Representative Johnson

27 March 1999 (UNKNOWN)

28 March 1999 pariah

31 March 1999 Champaign lawyer John Hirschfeld volunteered to bomb Yugoslavia

1 April 1999 [memo to newspoets]

2 April 1999 Patch Happy

3 April 1999 "I keep having this dream where I wake up wanting to know about Kosovo."

4 April 1999 Serbs vow to retaliate

8 April 1999 Newspoets win international hypertext novel contest, go to Brown

10 April 1999 People still unaware end of world imminent

11 April 1999 i awaken in a mushroom of fog

12 April 1999 johnny werd was by now an adult

13 April 1999 Office 97

15 April 1999 EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE, FOLKS!

16 April 1999 You meant to buy the morning paper

18 April 1999 FREEDOM ISN'T FREE

21 April 1999 Something very bad

22 April 1999 He sits in the window and tells his mother every time he sees the planes.

4 May 1999 Variations on the New York Times

12 May 1999 Chicago Shoe Review

14 May 1999 Vermont Beer Tour

16 May 1999 enduring masterwork

26 May 1999 Accidents Happen (or) A Select History of Ethnic Cleansing

27 May 1999 Twenty Consonant Editorial

30 May 1999 To: All Drivers and Garage Personnel

31 May 1999 Memo to all Newspoets

7 June 1999 the war

8 June 1999 Variations on the New York Times

9 June 1999 bad news is good news

12 June 1999 haiku

17 June 1999 Newspoetry Movie Review: Star Wars

18 June 1999 Microsoft Announces New Unknown Operating System

19 June 1999 We have grown ever more sensitive (collaborative pantoum)

20 June 1999 Disappearing Cities (lipogram)

21 June 1999 NRA Used 'Every Weapon' To Kill Gun Bill-Clinton

25 June 1999 Pride Week now only Urbana

27 June 1999 Villatinaku (with Dirk Stratton)

28 June 1999 Letter to Clinton

2 July 1999 11,112,006,825,558,016 Sonnets

4 July 1999 Poetry and Politics Don't Mix

5 July 1999 What do you mean aid? We bombed you, isn't that expensive enough?

7 July 1999 Police say they fired no shots in struggle in van

10 July 1999 Aviano Air Force Base (Ottava Rima)

13 July 1999 Omnifesto

15 July 1999 Khazakh Launch Ban Threatens Mir

18 July 1999 YOUR COUNTY Captures Newspoetry Guerilla Leader YOUR NAME

19 July 1999 GOODBYE SUPERVALU

20 July 1999 Newspoetry Horoscopes

21 July 1999 Limerick

22 July 1999 Newspoetry Powerpoint Presentation PPT / HTML

24 July 1999 Sequence

27 July 1999 Woodstock Festival

28 July 1999 A Day on the CTA I

29 July 1999 A Day on the CTA II

31 July 1999 A Day on the CTA III

1 August 1999 Ideas for Newspoetry

3 August 1999 Heatwave

5 August 1999 Newspoetry Numerology

7 August 1999 Sanctions Kill People Kill Sanctions

10 August 1999 And now for today's ABC's...

13 August 1999 The Angry Cow illness Announced in France

20 August 1999 Chicken Soup for your Corporate Ass

21 August 1999 $2949670.13-

26 August 1999 Newspoetry Algebra

28 August 1999 tenant news

1 September 1999 Birthday 30

7 September 1999 Crack Poem 1999

8 September 1999 East Timor Draft 3

11 September 1999 Witch Project

12 September 1999 Labor Day Weekend with Bob Greenberg

13 September 1999 Go Girl Go!!!

17 September 1999 20 Consonant Newspoetry Flashes

23 September 1999 The Hammer and the Popsickle

24 September 1999 Y2K a Hoax?

26 September 2002 Talkin Bout Our Generations

28 September 1999 Sosa 60, 61

1 October 1999 Haicoup

9 October 1999 Gun Control Debate Pantoum

12 October 1999 Newspoetry Etude for Prepared Piano

13 October 1999 further adventures of tinyman

14 October 1999 further further adventures of tinyman

20 October 1999 Clinton signs Comprehensive Acid Test Ban Treaty

23 October 1999 Las Vegas

24 October 1999 History of Newspoetry

28 October 1999 Temping at Echelon

29 October 1999 Cats On the Hill

1 November 1999 Love Poem 990

5 November 1999 Haiku 990

6 November 1999 Embassy Tavern

10 November 1999 Cento

12 November 1999 Activism has effect

13 November 1999 Ideas for Newspoets

17 November 1999 Newspaper Anthem (reprise)

18 November 1999 Clinton Endorses World Trade at Harley-Davidson Plant

21 November 1999 80 characters

23 November 1999 jesse ventura today reached osaka - a recursive haicoup

26 November 1999 Tell Me a Story

28 November 1999 Jesse Jackson Gets Warmer Reception in Iraq Than America or Saddam Hussein vs. Decatur School Board

29 November 1999 WTO Protest Stickers

1 December 1999 Questions

5 December 1999 Embargo

10 December 1999 Spin This!

17 December 1999 Community Power Poem

19 December 1999 NewPoemForm: 12-Character Installment2

20 December 1999 Radioplay

21 December 1999 Letter to a Cynic

24 December 1999 Memo to all Newspoets: Holiday Greetings

27 December 1999 Finding a Subletter

Dow And Union Carbide to Merge

 

1998 (for The Daily Poem and The Newspoem)

The Ventriloquists' Administration

Stockpile Stewardship

17 January 1998 THOSE WHO SUFFERED TRAUMA DURING GULF WAR COMPLAIN OF RERUNS (subtraction poem)

1 February 1998 the metaphors fail because they make it too perfectly clear

19 February 1998 Send the military into the inner cities on a peacekeeping mission

20 February 1998 Newspoetry Poll

21 February 1998 Didn't Hitler write that the public will fall for a large lie more easily than a small lie?

22 February 1998 Move your aircraft carrier three spaces forward

23 February 1998 Dan Rather is being slathered in makeup.

24 February 1998 Iraq goes around the corner on two wheels

27 February 1998 to those "tenured" first, "radical" second

27 February 1998 The shriek of the old car door

27 February 1998 Strategies for activists and radicals / Why I write newspoems

1 March 1998 Dream Sequence

3 March 1998 This Sonnet is MADE IN USA

4 March 1998 Logic Quiz Part A: Identify each Fallacy

5 March 1998 Logic Quiz Part 2: IDENTIFY AT LEAST FIVE LOGICAL FALLACIES

6 March 1998 Privatize the Fighting Illini

7 March 1998 Same-Sex marriage licenses allowed

9 March 1998 Letter from Chief Illiniwek

11 March 1998 Dear Patch

19 March 1998 Ballade of Waco, Texas

22 March 1998 An Irrational and Vindictive Demeanor (villanelle)

23 March 1998 Mayor Guiliani Outlaws Painting, Arrests Artists

25 March 1998 Dan & Doris Sage

4 April 1998 Limerick (remix 2004)

4 April 1998 Sestina for Bernadette Mayer and George Tenet

12 April 1998 La Bamba

18 May 1998 Palindrome

23 May 1998 Triple Anagram

27 May 1998 News-Gazette

28 May 1998 Palindrome

30 May 1998 SlipPoem

21 August 1998 Letter to William Jefferson Clinton

25 August 1998 Missile That Missed (double dactyl)

27 August 1998 Another Letter to William Jefferson Clinton

7 September 1998 El Shifa Suite

17 September 1998 Independent Counsel Caught in Confirmed Inappropriate Relationships

9 November 1998 Notes from the Embassy

11 December 1998 In Other News

19 December 1998 Associated Poets Evening News

26 December 1998 INSURANCE PLANS SKIRT REQUIREMENT ON MENTAL HEALTH

28 December 1998 haiku

29 December 1998 Cut-ups by William, Anne Geraci, Frank Lomaer, Anne Geraci

 

1997 (written for All the News That Fits to Sing / Eclectic Seizure, a radio show)

June 1997 Making Space Work: the X33

23 June 1997 Drunk Guy at Urbana City Council Meeting / Look at the Mayor

23 June 1997 Headlines Missing Copulative Verbs, Articles

July 1997 Cut-ups

26 July 1997 MIR

27 July 1997 Newspoetry Radio: Hunger Healthy, Studies Show

July 1997 The Laughers

July 1997 Mars Pathfinder Science Area

December 1997 Story about Bill Gates

July 1997 The News-Gazette

June 1997 Song about Al Gore

December 1997 Ideas for Income Distribution Radio

June 1997 Johnson Junior

December 1997 Static of Baghdad

December 1997 Recycle the Military / Privatize Big Business

November 1997 Nine Ways to Say But

November 1997 A Smart Bomb is Going Down a Chimney

1996 (an attempt to write a newspoem a day for an entire year)

1 January 1996 LOCAL CELEBRATION BEWILDERS INTERNATIONAL PEACEKEEPERS

2 January 1996 LESS THINGS CHANGE MORE THINGS STAY SAME

3 January 1996 JOKE

4 January 1996 MESSAGE: AMERICANS IN CHARGE

5 January 1996 When AT&T announced its intentions to lay off 40,000 workers, the shit really hit the fan

6 January 1996 8 TO 12 INCHES OF SNOW

7 January 1996 Why is the news plural?

8 January 1996 RISE IN SUICIDE AMONG ELDERLY PREDICTED

9 January 1996 True or false

10 January 1996 Polls predict

11 January 1996 The Space Shuttle Endeavor was launched before dawn

12 January 1996 Popular and political pressure mounted in Russia

13 January 1996 The newspapers today were peeling wallpaper I stared at as I ate breakfast.

14 January 1996 NEWSPAPER INEDIBLE

15 January 1996 HOUSES VANDALIZED

16 January 1996 Governor Jim Edgar commuted the death sentence for Guinevere Garcia

17 January 1996 HE WHO FIRST LAUGHS LAST

18 January 1996 A foot of snow in Minnesota

19 January 1996 In an effort to show that the White House is doing all it can to invite discussion of the budget

20 January 1996 THOSE WHO SUFFERED TRAUMA DURING GULF WAR COMPLAIN OF RERUNS

21 January 1996 A series of prison riots has led the government to conclude that prisons are unsafe

22 January 1996 The corporate squid obscures

23 January 1996 HEADLI ES

24 January 1996 Judy Markowitz Against Civil Rights

25 January 1996 What?

26 January 1996 NO KILLER BEE ATTACKS REPORTED

27 January 1996 NEWSPOEM EDITORIAL

28 January 1996 SARAJEVO

29 January 1996 FALLING TEMPERATURES AND EXPECTATIONS

30 January 1996 The wealthy pay but they, well, don't pay everything, he thought

31 January 1996 Los Angeles

1-4 February 1996 Urbana (Associated Poets)

5 February 1996 COLD AS HELL

6 February 1996 YOU FEELING MUCH BETTER

7 February 1996 20-Consonant Poem

8 February 1996 20-Consonant Poem

9 February 1996 ANGER WITHOUT SELFPITY

10 February 1996 Flow

11 February 1996 RUDE CUSTOMERS EXPELLED FROM HARDEES

12 February 1996 (NEWSPOETRY ERRATUM

13 February 1996 NEWS NOT PARTICULARLY FUNNY

14 February 1996 when you read the news

15 February 1996 metaphor poem

16 February 1996 President Clinton signed into effect a bill that will withhold federal contracts from companies employing illegal immigrants at subminimum wage

17 February 1996 An economy based on human dignity?

18 February 1996 Somebody has just entered your home

19 February 1996 Today's news was reported to me by an undergraduate journalism student

20 February 1996 The Space Shuttle Conquistador lifted off yesterday with the Moon in tow

21 February 1996 A hurricane in a bottle

22 February 1996 Cocktail Party Candidate Ted Stadt announced his platform today

23 February 1996 Dimension severed, devoided memory

24 February 1996 Today two offical government panels reported that almost every human being is equal

25 February 1996 The shelling has finally stopped: the War on Drugs has ended in defeat

26 February 1996 NEWS GETS FLAT

27 February 1996 Who would believe that this reporter once knew Champaign's Alison Krauss

28 February 1996 BILL WOULD FUND ATHLETIC BUILDINGS WITH CASINO TAX

29 February 1996 Leap Day

1 March 1996 Boycott Firestone Tires

2 March 1996 After I make a thousand dollars

March 3-6 1996 Newspoem with page breaks

7 March 1996 The Hubble Space Telescope's photographs of Pluto

8 March 1996 Report on the Illinois Department of Labor's Underpromoted Public Hearing on a proposal to repeal Illinois "One Day Rest In Seven" Act at the Illinois State Library in Springfield

9 March 1996 In an aggressive display of humility

10 March 1996 3000 striking UAW GM workers at Dayton

11 March 1996 As soon as The News got up, it called up the Stock Market

12 March 1996 Senator Bob Dole met with pharmaceutical billionaires in Russia

13 March 1996 Aerospace Contract Could be Worth $1 Trillion

14 March 1996 A Task Force has been formed to investigate Champaign

15 March 1996 For two days now I have not seen a News Gazette anywhere

16 March 1996 Just fifteen minutes ago, this reporter, with an ear for precise detail and a head empty of facts

17 March 1996 Everyone was submerged in newspapers

18 March 1996 The News: Issues:

19 March 1996 Buchanan: He's voting for Dole.

March 20-25 1996 The Week the News was put in Prison

March 26-27 1996 A British scientist has found evidence that British veterans suffering from Gulf War Syndrome may have damage to their nervous systems

28 March 1996 Russian Forces in 3-Pronged Assault

29 March 1996 PrisonDisturbanceSendsAlienstoHospital

March 27-31 1996 A magistrate

1 April 1996 WORON DRUGS

2 April 1996 Yesterday I was walking to the library when a man with a box asked me:

3 April 1996 Newspoem Haiku

4 April 1996 Federal Investigation of Beatings

5 April 1996 When a Rapist is a Stranger he

6 April 1996 FBI Enlists High-Tech Tools

7 April 1996 Newspoetry Sunday Comics

8 April 1996 Men and women are as different as day and night

9 April 1996 DRAMA REVIEW

10 April 1996 LEGS SEVER BODY TO ESCAPE FROM TRAP

11 April 1996 Michael Jordan

12 April 1996 I wonder if the guy at the liquor store knows

13 April 1996 April is the cruelest friend.

14 April 1996 Harassment Suit Filed Against U.S. Mitsubishi

15 April 1996 Individuals

16 April 1996 Victory Speech

17 April 1996 Monogamy

18 April 1996 The News had never been so offended in her life

19 April 1996 SURVEY FINDS LITTLE EVIDENCE DRUG TESTING DETERS USE

20 April 1996 Every day people stage a mass protest against capitalism

22 April 1996 The waterglass is tilting off the edge of the table.

23 April 1996 House Passes Anti-Terror Bill

24 April 1996 Secretary of State

25 April 1996 Kennedy Items Fetch Big Bucks

26 April 1996 He's ordered the Energy Department to begin selling

27 April 1996 What do we know about living and dying?

28 April 1996 Birth-Death Processes

29 April 1996 The broomstick broke before the child’s spirit did

1-6 May 1996 Professor punished after testifying against officer

7 May 1996

8 May 1996 Suddenly it was history I didn’t even know it.

9 May 1996 On the stump, Reagan, er, I mean, Dole is capable of moving audiences to tears

10 May 1996 There is a word hanging in the air. You just read it

11 May 1996 There's this tension

12-16 May 1996 (pdf)

12 May 1996 When they put out cigarettes on me the pain was orange

13 May 1996 I know what the cattle are afraid of

14 May 1996 Admiral Frank Kelso II resigned after Tailhook

15 May 1996 My house it is leaning sideways

16 May 1996 Stalks adrift from the fields that were tilled

17 May 1996 Newspoetry Classifieds (pdf)

18 May 1996 Only certain things seem newsworthy:

The Equilibrium Equations (pdf)

August 1996 (pdf)

1995 (first newspoems)

5 December 1995 It is dangerously windy today so be careful on overpasses.

6 December 1995 The seventeen-month strike at eight Caterpillar plants across America has ended with none of the workers' demands met.

7 December 1995 Reasons for U.S. intervention in Bosnia:

8 December 1995 let's invade our own country

9 December 1995 68-year old Grace Cafaro's 1988 Mercedes

10 December 1995 U.S. MILITARY TO BE DISMANTLED

11 December 1995 U.S. RICH PAY THE LOWEST TAX RATES IN THE INDUSTRIALIZED WORLD

12 December 1995 WE ARE WHAT WE DON'T READ

13 December 1995 Local Politician Protects Major Corporate Interests

14 December 1995 Line One, hello

15 December 1995 BALKAN FOES SIGN 1995 PEACE PACT

16 December 1995 IT'S HARD TO PAY ATTENTION TO THE EVENTS IN EASTERN EUROPE IF YOU'RE AFRAID YOU MIGHT WORK OVERTIME OR FREEZE TO DEATH THIS CHRISTMAS

17 December 1995 Friday nobody suspected that disagreements

18 December 1995 *

19 December 1995 MURDER TOTAL DROPS 12 %

20 December 1995 poor get poorer and rich get richer

21 December 1995 yeah right

22 December 1995 In 1990, a little boy named Samuel Herschberger

25 December 1995 NEWSPOEM 95 XMAS

28 December 1995 U.S. FIRED IN BOSNIA

Newspoetry Reading List

Spinelessness.