Cocktail Party Candidate Ted Stadt announced his platform today. If elected, he intends to make all currency edible. The most radical aspect of Stadt's platform is that he claims his proposal "may introduce more problems than it solves." Critics of the party have noted that, according to his plan, all money will either have been eaten or have gone bad two months after he takes office. This complication was quickly brushed aside, though, when he explained that the currency would be made out of his father's recipe for chocolate espresso mousse with raspberries and white chocolate shavings.

Newspoetry at Spineless Books