"All the News That Rhymes"

The Daily Poem

Weather: unfair

Distribution: 3 Printed in Urbana FREE

Send the military into the inner cities on a peacekeeping mission.

Hand out rations and fatigues to the hungry and homeless.

Give each welfare mom a stealth fighter.

Give each homeless person a B-2 bomber.

Give everyone who cannot find a job a nuclear missile.

Give every orphaned child a Mars probe.

Give those dependent on alcohol a tank.

Give those who cannot afford rent artillery.

Give those who cannot afford food a parachute.

Give those who cannot read infra-red goggles that will allow them to see in complete darkness.

Give those who cannot pay their hospital bills an armored personnel carrier.

Billy has fallen off of the swingset and cut his knee. Here comes the helicopter.

Sarah feels safe to walk alone down the street at night with her AK47.

When Uncle John decided to tear down the old shed, he used a handgrenade.

The following are free: flashlights, compasses, goggles, belts, backpacks, boots.

At dawn there is the sound of helicopters and jets. Paratroopers descend by spotlight and APCs arrive, troops, in formation, storm the factory and replace all the workers at their positions. The workers are marched out into the parkinglot and given coffee and donuts, blankets, medical attention.

Above the most dangerous neighborhoods, lowflying helicopters drop twentydollarbills.

Barracks are opened to the homeless. Bases are opened to the elderly. Mess halls are opened to the insane.


Welfare never injured eight civilians.

Affirmative action never fell apart in midair.

Supplemental Security Income never leaked petroleum destroying an entire crop of berries.

Socialized medicine will never cause Gulf War Syndrome. 

Newspoetry at Spineless Books