31 March 1999
Mike Lehman & William Gillespie
Champaign lawyer John Hirschfeld volunteered to bomb Yugoslavia, in order to get out of allegations of embezzling from the News-Gazette.

In related news, Supervalu was on the front page of the News-Gazette.

And after this, Champaign mayoral candidates support a living wage.

In other news, Iraq supposedly had a secret meeting with Yugoslavia during which it revealed sensitive information on what it's like to be bombed to ruins by irrational westerners.

And in an unrelated story, Urbana's tepid Lincoln Square Mall has been sold to local investors by a Minneapolis firm.

And in a different story tonight, Supervalu is operated out of Minneapolis.

Meanwhile, the "Melissa" virus has disabled NATO, grinding the air war to a halt.

Busses were provided by some Serbs to some Kosovars to take them to the border and expel them from Kosovo.  The less humanitarian Serbs simply slaughtered the adult males and sent the old folks, women and children onto the road out of Kosovo.  You decide if it's worth it, but it's hard to say why the NATO doesn't simply bomb Milosevic's palace if he's the author of this sad story.  Instead, that site is specifically off-limits in the spiral of destruction.  Apparently Milosevic is the only safe person in Yugoslavia and NATO is only equipped to guarantee his personal safety.

Serbian television reports that the Kosovars are leaving Kosovo because they are fleeing the NATO bombing.  In war, Truth is the first casualty.

Newspoetry at Spineless Books