20 July 1999

Newspoetry Horoscopes

ARIES March 20-April l8

This is not a good time for formal experimentation. Until September, your free verse is true and unerring. Don't revise. You need buy the newspaper only on Sunday, your instinct for politics being as keen as your instinct for language.

TAURUS April 19-May 19

Until the Winter Solstice, you will find your creativity inexplicably stifled by all Microsoft products. You will have success if you download the trial version of Macromedia Freehand. Don't believe anything in the Tribune. It is all bullshit. But your unwavering pen may compose a new truth.

GEMINI May 20-June 19

You haven't fully explored the possibilities of multisequentiality, and you should try to interlink everything you write until July 29, when Mars leaves the building. You will find that you have better dreams. By this time next week you'll have reached a decision regarding a stanza you can't quite get right. Act on it.

CANCER June 20-July 21

Buy a really nice notebook and write in it everyday. Fuck newspoetry. These are your private thoughts. Share them with nobody.

LEO July 22-August 21

This is not a good time for you technically. On July 24, your computer will suffer a fatal crash and you will have to reinstall all your software. Back things up now. Saturn, planet of limitation, is currently transiting the area of your solar chart that governs your writing style - which means you must take your time and get things right.

VIRGO August 22-September 2l

The sun and moon are powerful images. Now is the time to transform any newspoem into a masterpiece.

LIBRA September 22-October 2l

Don't finish any newspoems too quick. If something is not working out the way you intended, drop it and move on to something else. The breakthrough may not come until after the tenth draft so be patient. You might instead use this month as an opportunity to sharpen your photography, and use Adobe Photoshop to make some images web-ready.

SCORPIO October 22-November 21

You've always been creative. Now people are beginning to take note. As Jupiter enters Venus, now is a good time for formal gymnastics. There is no constraint too arduous for you until August 23. Try to write a 20-consonant poem that alternates vowels and consonants. Then translate it into French with the same constraints. Mars, currently hanging in your sign, is a potent force indeed.

SAGITTARIUS November 22-December 20

Now that Mercury is moving retrograde, can you trust everything the Nation tells you? Your soapbox is becoming wobbly. War is hell, but everybody already knows that. Look for topics that require a degree of subtlety. Try to give the pentagon the benefit of the doubt for five weeks.

CAPRICORN December 21-January 19

Experiment with scanning in flowers and weeds and natural objects. That nagging feeling that computers may bring the end of everything good may be rooted in truth. But being a luddite may end up being more hardship than you can take.

AQUARIUS January 20-February 18

You are in danger of becoming decentered and nonlinear. Avoid framesets. Strive for closure, and try to write about news stories that take place on a local scale. You're in for a stretch of honest work. You may have to write something unpalatable today, but it is better that you do it sooner rather than later.

PISCES February l9-March l9

You will find unfamiliar software easy and pleasurable to use for three weeks. It is a good time for animation, or to try mixing sounds. You will have to come back to reality eventually, but for now you should lose yourself in daydreams and fantasies, and not worry too much about what is happening in the world around you.

After all, some say the news is a fantasy, too.


Newspoetry at Spineless Books