12 October 1999

Newspoetry Etude for Prepared Piano

According to Illinois Labor Law, for every four-hour shift, Chicago workers are guaranteed the right to think about art for fifteen minutes.

Keep in mind that your workplace may attempt to subvert this law, and in fact steps are being taken to repeal this law even as I write this poem. Nevertheless, if you work full-time, you are paid by your employer to think about art for half an hour each day.

This time of year in Chicago, the cows along Michigan Avenue have fantastic colors.

The piano was prepared by filling it with live squid and setting it on fire.

This time of year, according to National Public Radio, the Japanese have an uneasy relationship with the atom.

What will happen if one of these earthquakes hit Chicago?

In a thousand years, archeologists will unearth in North America a black enamel cow with flames on the side.

The cows have horns and udders, as the city of Chicago expresses its acceptance of its gay lesbian bisexual transsexual and hermaphroditic citizens.

The Harold Washington public library is a monument to human decency.

The piano was prepared by marinating it in balsamic vinegar with bay leaves and basil.

The WGN / Tribune building was built when gangsters ruled Chicago, in 1692.

Some of the cows were vandalized or stolen before they installed the cow alarms.

Your choice of restaurant: Iraqi, Sudanese, Afghanistani, Yugoslavian, Timorese.

In the Nineteenth Century, 100 cows drowned in the Chicago River when a bridge collapsed.

I sometimes shed a tear over my cheeseburger at the Billy Goat.

The piano was prepared by filling it full of aspirin and shipping it to Iraq.

In Chicago, the cows play ragtime.

What is to become of the Bulls? In Chicago, even the cows wear horns to mock them.

Newspoetry at Spineless Books