I don’t mean to be a hard-ass, but I’m seeing a lot of sloppy poetry on this list, and I wanted to just remind you guys about some of the procedures instigated at the beginning of my tenure during the blizzard of 1999. I assume you all have a copy of the Newspoetry staff handbook, if not you need to send me a check for $25 IMMEDIATELY so I can send you a copy. Now I’d like everyone to reread Chapter 17, and because this is a crisis situation I’ve included some relevant passages below:

Chapter 17 Line Breaks

Formal integrity and haunting poetic beauty are of paramount importance. It is the responsibility of the Newspoet to maintain high standards of formal integrity. In addition to the Responsible Scansion guidelines, the Newspoetry Policy and Procedures on Formal Integrity in Poetry and Prose sets forth the following limitations which apply to all Newspoets. Line breaks are those inexplicable carriage returns, or, as is relevant to electronic political poetry, break tags or paragraph tags (stanza breaks).

Newpoetry staff members appointed for any period of time other than on a twelve-month basis are allotted no line breaks except for specific approved poetic forms. They must write, therefore, only prose. Full-time Newspoetry staff members appointed on a twelve-month basis receive twenty-four line breaks per appointment year; part-time Newspoetry staff members appointed on a twelve-month basis receive twenty-four line breaks at the percentage of their appointment (based on an eight-hour day) per appointment year. Line breaks are arranged to accommodate the convenience of the Newspoet with the approval of the unit leader. A maximum of forty-eight line breaks may be accumulated and carried over into the new appointment year. During a partial-year appointment, line breaks are prorated. Line breaks used in the composition of poetry written in forms approved by the unit leader, are considered a part of the annual allowance.

Also, alliteration is expressly forbidden. Well, I just wanted to make sure things went smoothly. Let’s get those checks in the mail!


Newspoetry at Spineless Books