9 April 2000
Nick Montfort, William Gille$pie

Glut in Headline Market Takes Tropes to New Low

Investors Wise Up -- For A Moment

Nasdaq Gets Vertigo, Nosebleed

Market Prices Go Down Suddenly, Then Go Back Up
Journalists Desperate For Metaphors

Nasdaq Comes From Behind To Trounce Third World, Environment, Common Sense

Titanic Tech Stock Gains Hit Iceberg

Nasdaq Gets Knocked Down, But It Gets Up Again
"You Never Gonna Keep Me Down," Say Investors

Bloodied Nasdaq Finds Victory Using Crane Kick

Nasdaq In Free Fall, But Secondary Chute 0pens

Stock Market Lets Down Hair
Investors Climb To Tower

Market Fails, Investors Seek Meaningful Work

Tech Stock Market Descends Into Chaos, Ascends Into Semblance Of Order

Nasdaq Undergoes Correction
But Editor Writes "Stet"

Market Undergoes Nasty Redaction

Stock Market Drowns, Washes Up On Shore
Dow Jones, Nasdaq Revived By Lifeguard In Tender Scene

Dow Throws Self Off Building
Index Wafted Heavenward By Mysterious Updraft

Nasdaq Droops, Disappointing Investors
Later Trading Stimulates Stock Prices, Arousing Another Round Of Heavy Trading

Dow Jones, Nasdaq Recover
May Feel Hung Over In Morning

Technology-Laden Nasdaq Index Enters Hell, Heaven

Nasdaq Descends to Wine Cellar
Returns with Vintage Beaujolais

Finds Cork Disintegrated

North Pole Moves South, Stabilizes

Nasdaq's Free Fall Followed By Resilient Spring

Tech Stocks Ship Tremendous Amounts Of Water
Investors Ardently Pump Bilge To Rescue Nasdaq

Rich Get Poorer, Richer
Poor Remain Poor

Nasdaq Slain, Reincarnated By Merciful Dungeon Master
Slight Loss of Hit Points

Tech Stocks Flushed
Toilet Overflows

Greenspan Refuses Plunger

Middle-Aged White Men Desperately Sell Stocks Early On, Then Furiously Buy Them

Tech Stocks Born Again

Dow Jones Falls Out Of Airplane, Activates Rocket Pack, Runs Out Of Fuel, Activates Parachute, Is Propelled Upward By Updraft From Erupting Volcano

Nasdaq Capsizes
Stocks Almost Sink To Dow Jones' Locker

Nasdaq's Bubble Bursts
Market Blows New Bubble

Queasy Investors Throw Up On Floor, Feel Better

Newspoetry at Spineless Books