25 October 2000
Anne Bargar, Bethany Cooper, Joe Futrelle, Bryan Cribbs, Maiko Covington, William Gillespie, Sarah Kanouse, Sascha Meinrath, Mike Lehman

Television Subject Other
Newspoetry Roundtable Discussion on the Upcoming Presidential Election as Understood in the Context of a Contemporary Rereading of Cheech and Chong's "Up in Smoke"

Ralph "Nads" Nader took the subway to hear Bush and Gore debate, and they wouldn't let him bring in his sandwich.

(Actual story from The Mink: When I was in the fourth grade, my school took a field trip to Congress. We actually went into the Capitol and saw a filibuster going on. I know now that it was a filibuster because some windbag was up in the center of the room at a big desk pontificating at length about nothing in particular, and the others in attendance were gathered around the desk, backs to it, crossing and uncrossing their legs in unison, and playing games with their hands. At any rate, as we entered the hall, guards searched our clothing, and they took away a superball that I had in my pocket. I never did get that thing back, either! We now return you to your newspoem in progress.)

If Bush were yin and Gore were yang, then Nader would be screwed.
Why read the newspaper if it's going to implode?
Fifteen armed police restrained one innocent unarmed man.

If we had a more equitable system of income distribution, then we might begin to be able to make meaningful comparisons of school systems in the US.
Television exists because we need to provide SOMETHING for all those electrons to do as they wing around at.3 c.
You'd rather be in British Columbia when NCSA gets nuked for providing all that military research.

If I could live for a while in a country other than the US, I'd pick Canada.
If I could give one gift to Dubya Bush, I'd give him a bucket of lard.
The feature I'd most like to see in a new luxury vee-hickle is toast.

If a vote for Nader is a vote for Bush, then a vote for Bush is a vote for Ted Koppel
The last thing we need is another synchronized Olympic event
Nader is to Gore like Elvis is to Billy Ray Cyrus

If the election was on Halloween, Darth Vader would get 5%
The next holiday which will be extensively commercialized will be "hug a cretin" day.
If I had a hammer, I'd hammer another hammer until it was hammered flat.

the root of all pleasure has been hammered flat.
I can remember the time you first hugged a tree.
I can't remember the time I rode above the clouds

Tomorrow's bagel is today's babbling idiot.
A Nader a day is worth a Gore in the Bush.
Too much work and not enough play makes a boy a dull scholar.

A railroad in time saves a nuke in the brine.
What would Che do?
Today's chopped liver is tomorrow's quiche; is yesterday's conservative.
My first time was like a walking through a field of dreams.
A touch of a feather entwined us together.

The sum of all fears [can we say this? didn't Clancy tm this???].
There can be no daily revolution without daily humility.
Is it live or is it colorized?

What shapes the future?
How do we see the shining path
Luminescent in the starlight
Binding the past
To the present
On the way to a bright future day?

I saved the newspaper because I needed mulch.
My friend was on the news because they were in a march
Inflation isn't news.

Once in a while, it can pay off to think locally while acting globally.

Note: this was written in two sessions a week apart using a method in which each newspoet writes lines with blanks and fills in blanks left in other newspoet's lines.

Newspoetry at Spineless Books