I'm seeing way too much funny stuff on this list. I wanted to remind you all of a relevant passage from the Newspoetry Staff Handbook:


For each appointment year, 12 jokes (cumulative, if unused) can be used for the purposes of levity. These include gags, cracks, witty remarks, yuks, schtick, puns, and alliteration. If these 12 jokes are used, no more 13 additional (noncumulative) jokes are permitted, provided they are demonstrably ironic and tinged with a certain cynicism. Once that amount is depleted, any balance of accrued compensable jokes may be used (earned and accrued between Jan. 1, 1984 and Dec. 31, 2000). Upon termination of employment, an employee may crack jokes for the cumulative unused comedy earned between 1/1/84 and 12/31/2000. Knock-knock jokes, lightbulb jokes, and Guinness jokes are permissible only if prior consent is given at the editor's discretion. Ethnic jokes, while discouraged, are permissible only if the newspoet makes fun of white people (including honkies, crackers) in equal proportion.

Newspoets on appointment for less than a full appointment year or who write fewer, on average, then one newspoem per month, receive a prorated share of the 12 cumulative and 13 noncumulative jokes. Newspoets on part-time appointment receive the 12 and 13 jokes at the percentage of their appointment. If the percentage of the appointment changes, the previously accumulated jokes must be converted to the equivalent number of jokes at the new percentage. A joke which is not funny may be considered a fraction, or partial joke.

Guidelines on the types of jokes allowed are available in Chapter 13: Required and Optional Tropes.

Newspoetry at Spineless Books