14 October 1999

further further adventures of tinyman

Al Gore's campaign was spiraling out of the sky in a curlicue of smoke. tinyman swept up from below and saved it

Bush was going to be named President and heir to the riches of scandal. tinyman huffed and puffed and overturned the election results

Earthquakes erupted simultaneously in Turkey, Greece, Taiwan, and Mexico. tinyman calmed down and with heroic mellowness managed to soothe the tectonic forces into relaxation

There was a brilliant blue flash as radiation levels rose to 10,000 times normal levels. tinyman, thinking acutely, steered clear of that one

Taiwanese thugs massacred the Timorese people. tinyman swept down, picked up the entire World Bank, and threw it into the sun

Some Serb declared Serbs the new Jews of Europe and a major newspaper reported it and beneath a color photograph of a Serb siphoning gasoline with a lit cigarette in his mouth pointed out that the analogy was stretched. tinyman silently noted that the same newspaper, two months ago, had referred to Slobodan Milosevich as Hitleresque, and that that analogy had been equally stretched, and that, at this point in history, any holocaust analogy was stretched

The Harold Washington library hosted a reading of the hypertext novel the Unknown. tinyman thought up an excuse for why he didn't attend, and instead checked out the cows on Michigan Avenue

Russia bombed Chechnya. tinyman was relieved that NATO or some other peacekeeping force didn't intervene

A wave of terrorist bombings swept through Russia. tinyman went downstairs and knocked on the door of Osama Bin-Laden's apartment and Osama Bin-Laden came to the door sleepily and tinyman asked him if he was responsible and he said no and tinyman went upstairs satisfied

The Myanmar embassy in Bangkok was sieged and two Canadians were taken hostage. tinyman had been born in Canada but was a naturalized American

The West Nile virus broke out in New York. tinyman yawned and drank a glass of milk and ate a slice of bread and went to bed. the world ended

At 6:00 AM tinyman's clock radio came on, but there no more stations, so he slept until noon. He awoke to save the world and discovered it was too late and went back to bed

Newspoetry at Spineless Books